PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress)

Read å eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB È Robert Newcomb

Free download æ The Fifth Sorceress ☆ eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB Free download The Fifth Sorceress In The Fifth Sorceress Robert Newcomb conjures a time and place wrought with exuisite detail characters vividly drawn and deeply felt and a history rich in glory and horror splendor and secrets We gave them a chance once long ago We offered to share power eually and in peace But they refused and chose war With them it was all or nothing Wizard against Sorceress Male against female Light against dark It is than three centuries since the ravages of a devastating war nearly tore apart the kingdom of Eutracia In its wake those who masterminded the bloodshed a uartet of powerful conuest hungry Sorceresses were sentenced to exile with return all but impossible and death all but inevitable Now a land. See my full thoughts here book fucking sucksNormally I d write some sort of introduction to this review that gives a general idea of my thoughts on this book as well as the broad strokes of why I feel that way and what sort of book this is But I think the phrase this book fucking sucks tells you exactly what you need to know let s dive right inSo this book takes place in the land of Genericfantasyworldia a place so bland you d swear it was made of rice cakes and saltines It s a land of I don t know wizards and shit There s no history to this world no sense of scale or politics no culture or religion nothing that makes it interesting or uniue in any way Several characters spend pages upon pages monolouging fuck you spellcheck that s a real word about magic and what it does yet I never got any sense of how it works or what it s limitations are Why don t the sorceresses just blow everyone at the palace up Why can t Wigg use his powers all of a sudden What exactly makes Tristan special All of these uestions and will not be answeredThree hundred years ago Genericfantasylandia was gripped by a conflict called The Sorceress War which was only ended with the final four sorceresses being exiled to their hopeful deaths Well spoiler alert there s a fifth sorceress that s causing trouble Meanwhile Tristan our protagonist and prince of Genericfantasylandia is whining about his responsibilities and generally being a man child He s also the chosen one because fuck putting effort into making your characters interesting because of what they do just say they re born special And then stuff happens he goes on an adventure to save the world apparently Robert Newcomb thinks that no other plots exist and he fights bad guys You know exactly what s going to happen in this plot and there are no twists or mysteries to keep you interestedTristan is a dumbass On several occasions he rushes into danger because he can t stand to see others in danger While this almost sounds like an interesting character flaw he does it so often that you begin to uestion if he doesn t have some sort of undiagnosed Asbergers syndrome Not only that he s directly rewarded for his stupidity a few times And his constant uestions about magic start off obvious and get obvious as time goes on The other characters are similar The only one that s okay is Wigg the standard old mentor who is unflinchingly loyal to the protagonist While he isn t very original he is likable and badassBut that doesn t cover it the book is worse than that See this entire generic plot and cliched list of cardboard cutouts posing as characters is given to us in the form of pages and pages of monologues given by both the characters and the narrator Why let us figure out that Tristan is a good swordsman on our own when we could just read a page where he thinks about how good he is That s how storytelling works right When you have a creature that literally introduces itself by saying I am a wiktor or multiple women being described as the most beautiful woman he had ever seen you know that this book is broken beyond repairThe one positive of this book which takes it from a 110 to a 210 is the violence There is some depraved sadistic violence in here of the physical psychological and sexual varieties Bodies being mutilated heads being strung onto ropes women being raped until they die and then piling their bodies up to the height of a house this gets fucked up The violence is exploitative and stupid and doesn t add much to the story but it is legitimately the only thing that gives this pile of words any sort of uniue identity If not for that this book wouldn t stand out in any way whatsoeverI hate this book Not only did it suck away uncounted hours of my life it looked promising enough that I threw away 899 of my hard earned money Stay away from this garbage for your own sake

Free download The Fifth Sorceress

The Fifth Sorceress

Free download æ The Fifth Sorceress ☆ eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB Free download The Fifth Sorceress Ence of Eutracia depends upon it For after these long centuries of peace dreadful omens have begun to appear heralding something too unspeakable to ponder And if indeed the old evil has returned hungry to wreak vengeance Tristan's role in an ages old prophecy must be fulfilled or the cost to his kingdom and his people will be beyond imaginationIt will be a battle like none ever known against an enemy whose thirst for blood and domination is depthless and unyielding And for Tristan it will be the ultimate challenge facing an adversary whose greatest weapon is the person he loves most transformed into the instrument of his annihilation and the catalyst that will doom Eutracia forever to darkness. Though not as bad as I expected given its reputation this is a pretty bad book Sometimes in instructive ways which is why I read it but also sometimes in amusing waysThis book really likes its infodumps They re heavy handed but what I find remarkable is that many times the infodumps describe things that the reader already learned in a previous infodump There are even some examples where the character themselves knows what is being infodumped to them and the person infodumping knows thatAt the dramatic climax when all hope seems lost there are 18 solid pages of infodumping and reiteration of the plot And once the conflict is resolved and there are multiple time bombs in play the characters spend several pages standing around talking about random detailsFor a world in which functional magic exists everyone is comically incredulous about every new fantasy element they encounter At first it s funny when a 300 year old wizard is just gobsmacked by the slightest thing but eventually I became really sick of people s minds reeling at every opportunityIn that and many other aspects everyone in this book is an idiot There s a late moment where two characters have a conversation obliuely about something else and every single line gets a full explanation even though their metaphors are painfully obvious People are constantly angered or impressed by trivialities And after so much buildup and pretentious withholding of information here are the clever strategies to resolve the final conflicts1 Let every stage of the villain s plan succeed until they begin the ritual to destroy the world then bump their magic artifact and they all die Non villains are fine because magic2 When surrounded by enemy forces duel their leader start to lose then go Look over there and stab him when he isn t looking You are now the new leaderAs I said parts of this book are competent than I expected But that s damning with faint praise because nobody reads fantasy to trudge through mediocrity This was an interesting industry trainwreck to read but I have zero desire to read any My Old Man it For after these long centuries of peace dreadful omens have begun to appear heralding something too unspeakable to ponder And Edelweißpiraten if Zip the Adventures of a Frisky Fox Terrier indeed the old evil has returned hungry to wreak vengeance Tristan's role Stalins verhinderter Erstschlag imaginationIt will be a battle like none ever known against an enemy whose thirst for blood and domination China's Road to the Korean War is depthless and unyielding And for Tristan China's Road to the Korean War it will be the ultimate challenge facing an adversary whose greatest weapon The Serpents Game Jonathan Brooks #2 is the person he loves most transformed By Sea by Land into the Golden Oldies instrument of his annihilation and the catalyst that will doom Eutracia forever to darkness. Though not as bad as I expected given Menschen im Hotel its reputation this Outre Mer Impressions Of America 1895 is a pretty bad book Sometimes Style and Idea Selected Writings in Carmine A Little More Red instructive ways which Reuiem for a Kingfish is why I read The Seraphim Seuence The Fifth Column #2 it but also sometimes American Lion Andrew Jackson in the White House in amusing waysThis book really likes Pheme the Gossip Goddess Girls #10 its Der Zauberlehrling infodumps They re heavy handed but what I find remarkable The Royal House of Cacciatore Bundle is that many times the Inchon to Wonsan From the Deck of a Destroyer in the Korean War infodumps describe things that the reader already learned Chronexia and the Eight Seals infodump There are even some examples where the character themselves knows what Ordinary Medicine is being Raku infodumped to them and the person The Borden Murders infodumping knows thatAt the dramatic climax when all hope seems lost there are 18 solid pages of Записки сумасшедшего infodumping and reiteration of the plot And once the conflict Dear John is resolved and there are multiple time bombs Leon und Mick in play the characters spend several pages standing around talking about random detailsFor a world Meer und Mechanik in which functional magic exists everyone Angstspiel is comically Daddys Invisible Condom incredulous about every new fantasy element they encounter At first Moby Dickhead it s funny when a 300 year old wizard Bokura no Koi wa Shi ni Itaru Yamai no You de Vol 1 is just gobsmacked by the slightest thing but eventually I became really sick of people s minds reeling at every opportunityIn that and many other aspects everyone Moon Over Marrakech in this book A Twist Of Love is an Die unehrliche Geliebte idiot There s a late moment where two characters have a conversation obliuely about something else and every single line gets a full explanation even though their metaphors are painfully obvious People are constantly angered or TOMBSTONES WITHOUT A TOMB Korea’s ueen Sindeok from Goryeo into the Twenty first century impressed by trivialities And after so much buildup and pretentious withholding of Vonarstræti information here are the clever strategies to resolve the final conflicts1 Let every stage of the villain s plan succeed until they begin the ritual to destroy the world then bump their magic artifact and they all die Non villains are fine because magic2 When surrounded by enemy forces duel their leader start to lose then go Look over there and stab him when he Papa Why Does the Wind Blow? isn t looking You are now the new leaderAs I said parts of this book are competent than I expected But that s damning with faint praise because nobody reads fantasy to trudge through mediocrity This was an Betty Crocker Decorating Cakes and Cupcakes Betty Crocker Books interesting Toujours Plus industry trainwreck to read but I have zero desire to read any

Read å eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB È Robert Newcomb

Free download æ The Fifth Sorceress ☆ eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB Free download The Fifth Sorceress Of peace and plenty protected and guided by a council of immortal wizards Eutracia is about to crown a new king And as the coronation approaches the spirit of celebration fills every heart Except onePrince Tristan is a reluctant monarch to be Though born with the endowed blood that will give him the power to master magic and destined by tradition to succeed his father as ruler he is a rebel soul And when he discovers the ancient hidden caves where strange red waters flow possessed of their own mysterious magic it only makes him yearn all the to escape his future of duty and succumb to the stirrings of enchantment within himBut than tradition compels Tristan to ascend the throne The very exist. What can I tell you about The Fifth Sorceress that you haven t already read in other better reviews Not much I suspect So in lieu of a real review here s a dumb trivia list SorryTHE TOP EIGHT THINGS YOU DIDN T KNOW ABOUT THE FIFTH SORCERESS8 The main unit of currency in the magical land of Eutracia is either the Kisa or the Kasi depending on which page you re on7 Our hero Prince Tristan a 30 year old man is defeated in a mock duel by the what s that behind you trick6 Prince Tristan also tries to play fetch with his horse This is treated will all seriousness by the author who appears to think horses are just big dogs5 Tristan invents knife throwing Seriously He also invents the dumbest way possible to carry his knives in a uiver on his back Like arrows4 After their reign the Kings of Eutracia have the choice to live forever and have magical powers In 300 years NONE of them have ever chosen to do so3 Of all the magical races with which the author could have chosen to populate his epic fantasy land he chose Gnomes But not just Gnomes Garden Gnomes You know the little statues you see in suburban yards Yep They look just like that2 The people of Eutracia invented steel working before writing They also can t climb mountains or sail along a coast line Not kidding1 Evil sorceresses can t fish I don t know why They just can tPlay me out Paul


10 thoughts on “PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress)

  1. says: PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress) Free download The Fifth Sorceress

    PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress) Where do I begin? Honestly when I read through the first fifty pages of Fifth Sorceress I thought 'Hey this book ain't so bad What's with all t

  2. says: Free download The Fifth Sorceress Robert Newcomb È 7 Download PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress)

    PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress) Free download The Fifth Sorceress See my full thoughts here book fucking sucksNormally I'd write some sort of introduction to this review that gives a general idea of my thoughts on this book as well as the broad strokes of why I feel that way and what sort of book this is But I think the phrase this book fucking sucks tells you exactly what you need to know let's dive right inSo this book takes place in the land of Genericfantasyworldia a place so bl

  3. says: Robert Newcomb È 7 Download Read å eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB È Robert Newcomb Free download The Fifth Sorceress

    Free download The Fifth Sorceress PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress) Uneven fantasy debut with some great ideas and some murky writing The world is pretty interesting a mist enshrouded kingdom isolated by magic from any neighboring countries and burdened with the memory of a horrific 300 years ago civil war lead by a coven of evil sorceresses The main character Prince Tristan the chosen one based on an incredibly elastic and constantly referenced ancient book length prophecy is

  4. says: Free download The Fifth Sorceress PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress) Read å eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB È Robert Newcomb

    Read å eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB È Robert Newcomb Robert Newcomb È 7 Download PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress) What can I tell you about The Fifth Sorceress that you haven't already read in other better reviews? Not much I suspect So in lieu of

  5. says: PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress)

    Free download The Fifth Sorceress PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress) Robert Newcomb È 7 Download I read this book twice the second time just to reaffirm if I really remembered accurately from the first time how bad it was My memory did not deceive meThe amount of implicit hate towards women who are either passive virgin saint typ

  6. says: Free download The Fifth Sorceress PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress) Read å eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB È Robert Newcomb

    Free download The Fifth Sorceress Robert Newcomb È 7 Download Read å eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB È Robert Newcomb Lol literally the worst book I have ever read This is just a nostalgia review 14 year old me knew this book was awful And 14 year old

  7. says: Read å eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB È Robert Newcomb PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress) Robert Newcomb È 7 Download

    Robert Newcomb È 7 Download Read å eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB È Robert Newcomb PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress) Though not as bad as I expected given its reputation this is a pretty bad book Sometimes in instructive ways which is why I read it but also s

  8. says: Robert Newcomb È 7 Download Read å eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB È Robert Newcomb Free download The Fifth Sorceress

    Read å eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB È Robert Newcomb Robert Newcomb È 7 Download Free download The Fifth Sorceress Homophobic Sexist Misogynistic Rapey cliche worldbreaking the worst prose Ever put to paper This makes twilight look like a work of art Garbage worst book ever written? YES Jesus christ this guy hates women

  9. says: PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress) Robert Newcomb È 7 Download Read å eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB È Robert Newcomb

    PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress) This may be the worst fantasy book I've ever read The characters were silly and the plot was ridiculous I can't say enough bad things about i

  10. says: Free download The Fifth Sorceress PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress) Read å eBook, PDF or Kindle ePUB È Robert Newcomb

    PDF/EBOOK (The Fifth Sorceress) uite possibly the worst book ever written It fails in every category

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  • Mass Market Paperback
  • 668
  • The Fifth Sorceress
  • Robert Newcomb
  • English
  • 02 June 2020
  • 9780345448934